how long has it been, then? do you remember how...? once while i was inside you, i dreamt of how nice i thought it would be to find those pieces of me that i was missing. you told me that i would wake up one day and be complete. so one day, i woke up and you were gone. there was nothing left of us. is that what you meant?
ever since that day i found myself wishing for just one more hour. inside you. and still, you were gone. surely this isn't what you meant. was it? i fuck to fill the void. it makes me feel alive. incomplete, but alive nonetheless. and every time i treat myself like shit, i wait for you to stop me from hurting myself. and yo
the words i'll remember are etched all over july. i left you standing there in summer with hope that winter would bring me back to life. your breath froze instead. inhale, january. run away with a boy made of fragments of autumn.
i heard the screen door slam. goodbye, summer. won't miss you.
at all.
i missed the bus today
it just drove right past as i stood there by myself
it never even slowed down
i had this terrible feeling that perhaps i'd done something wrong
still, though.. i'm on the scheduled route
i wonder what my mother will say when i tell her
i hope she won't be mad
what if i walk in on her doing something that she only does when i leave for school?
maybe i shouldn't go home at all
when father finds out, who knows what he might do.
his fists are so hard.
i should probably try to walk to school
but it's so far.
i'm going to fail the test i was supposed to take.
what happens if i fail the class?
i might get punish
i wear a crown of thorns upon my head.
embedded tips in flesh so pallid and vestal that i fail to see
the ring of scars i ruefully carry.
streaks of white, so perfectly red
seeds sown from roses so perfectly dead.
in my room, i weep.
scarlet drops on satin sheets;
a slight hue to break the monotony of perfect white.
my crucifixion upon this bed of roses.
silence cast upon the voice of reason
as each petal moans and laments my misfortune.
the winds cry out, \"no more\"
outside my window, lies a world so vast and uncharted.
it will hurt to discover that which makes itself visible unto our bleeding eyes
as we will regret not having
depth perception - 3rd attempt by failurecomplex, literature
Literature
depth perception - 3rd attempt
i am everything you ever wanted,
but nothing you\'d ever have.
i am a lie.
do not believe a word i say.
i am a saint.
a sinner.
an atheist.
i am religion.
put your faith in me,
and i will let you down.
i am the beginning,
the origin.
the creation.
but i will bring the end.
and i will thrust it upon all of you.
i believe in nothing
but even nothing is something.
my all-time high
has hit an all-time low.
it has brought me up,
and i will drag you down.
i am entirely me,
but still a part of you.
i am far too simple to be complex.
i am everywhere but here.
anytime but now.
with anyone but myself.
i speak the truth,
but
i\'m caught halfway between now and forever
too soon to give up
too far to turn back
guided by forces unseen,
i carry on.
for them;
for myself.
i carry on
through a forest of hopes, dreams, and all things eternal; i soar.
bypassing the bane of my existence
and surpassing all of my expectations.
casting fear, insecurity, and despair into the depths of the shadows
and creating light from darkness.
this light, the navigator of our fortunes
to which we look for a sign;
a sign to show from where we came,
and where we\'ve yet to go.
it is under this canopy of stars,
that the trees, like dreams, whisper visions of thoughts into my
light at the end of the rope by failurecomplex, literature
Literature
light at the end of the rope
On the outside looking in
Never had the chance to begin
Time and time and time again
Isolation's my only friend
Take all that I have
And make it go away
Take all that I am
And help me find a way
Something's gotta change this world I'm in
I'm feeling apathy in my own sin
Something lost and nothing gained
Love, happiness and empathy feigned
Take all that I have
And watch it fade away
Fake all that I am
And try to find a way
Plastered smile on a plastic face
Hiding all that's been disgraced
Fearing the things that worship me
Loathing what I have come to be
I am all that I have
It's never going to change
Everything that I am
What's my problem?
Here's my problem...
My problem is that I'm:
Too aural to be deaf,
Too visual to blink,
Too now to be then,
Too jaded to think,
Too callous to be in peace,
Too empathetic to be in war,
Too here to be nowhere,
Too infinite to cease,
Too crazy to be sane,
Too sane to be real,
Too lazy to be anything,
Too distant to feel,
Too impassive to be me,
Too emotional to be you.
If I could only stop my head
From spiralling in constant turmoil,
Maybe I could know life better,
And return to my own version of self.
Too few lucid visions,
Too many lurid dreams,
Crumbling images
Of our own reality.
Burning oceans,
deconstructingthedemonwithin by failurecomplex, literature
Literature
deconstructingthedemonwithin
I hurt because I am alone
I love when it doesn't hurt too much
I hate to be the things that I am but can't change
I cry when I can't suppress the tears anymore
I fear death
I hope to find something meaningful
I feel everything
I kill any sense of compassion I may have had
I talk but no one can hear me
I listen because I cannot speak
I break myself to pieces inside
I smell failure approaching
I taste only the things I want to
I work to fill a void
I remember all the things that have hurt me
I hold onto the only thing I have
I hide everything I feel
I walk to be alone with my thoughts
I pray never
I drive m
when two becomes none by failurecomplex, literature
Literature
when two becomes none
When Two Becomes None
How can one judge the decay of the human spirit? Can it be done with science, as it is with the physical body? Or is it measured by the loss of thought in the mind, or the loss of love in the heart? I personally think it can only be measured by the change in feelings of the person. In this society, it seems we value knowledge, but at the same time, we suppress it in favour of entertainment.
Since the very beginning, it seemed we were together. A friendship forged out of steel. Nothing could separate us. Many things occur in life to which we are subjected. We are tested to see what we can
"I think it's gonna rain when I die"
It is with great sorrow that I write this at this moment. As you may, or may not know, Layne Staley of Alice In Chains was found dead in his house this weekend (April 19). With his passing, he becomes one more rock star to add to the gigantic list of his dead peers. This is another consequence of the evils of drug use and/or addiction. Fans of Layne and Alice In Chains, have known since the early 90's, that there was an ongoing battle with heroin. Many of us fans were hoping that it could be overcome, and for awhile, it seemed that perhaps the addiction was in check. We were willing to sacrifice
eulogy for the living by failurecomplex, literature
Literature
eulogy for the living
I'll die like I lived; silent and alone…
So here I am; sitting, waiting, and suffocating in this apparent void that I sometimes refer to as home, when it dawns on me - the high is over. The smoke is gone and the silence is deafening. The cold has returned, and there is nothing ahead. Strength has weakened, the winners have lost. All of this and more - None of it and less. In this stark oblivion that I inhabit – or rather, that inhabits me – all I am ever able to recollect is the coldness that constantly numbs me.
(self) I'm trapped in my own infinite hell.
It hardens my skin, yet weakens my shell.
I wish I could find some way to
the gospel according to me by failurecomplex, literature
Literature
the gospel according to me
The Gospel According To Me (And My Grain of Salt)
1. Why People Suck: Part One of... Many
{Sarcasm, sarcasm everywhere, but not a drop to drink}
i. Stupidity
ii. Elitism
iii. Hypocrisy
iv. Ignorance
v. Roman numerals
vi. Arrogance
vii. SUV's
viii. Dog clothing
ix. Bombastic Rants
x. Erotic Novels
xi. Jesus
xii. Bands Starting With 'The'
i. Stupidity - The defining trait of a worthless human being. Is it too much to ask of one to get some education? I thought not. As I am clearly not one to discriminate against feeble-minded individuals, I should probably take this time to discriminate against feeble-minded individuals. With
Perception Of The Unknown
As I write this, I can't feel anything but helplessness, as I know this may sound far-fetched, and as I have nobody to back me up on it. My thoughts are so cluttered that I am unable to form a consistent linear timeline of events. At the time, I had remembered everything that was said, in hopes of writing it down, but now I cannot remember any dialogue at all.
After returning from the greatest journey I have ever taken, writing this seems so awkward. Of the things I will write, I can only say that whatever it will be, it will be the greatest question I have ever asked.
On a fairly normal night, under fairly normal
Scott Baio Chronicles Vol 1 by failurecomplex, literature
Literature
Scott Baio Chronicles Vol 1
The Incredibly Hilarious, Zany and Wordy Misadventures of the Local Deviant Okbar and His Pyromaniacal (sic), Kleptomaniac Monkey, Duarté (as told through the memoirs of his special cameo-making neighbour, Scott "I dated Pamela Anderson, screw that Joanie bitch" Baio)
I, Scott ("Chachi") Baio, awoke on the morning of August 15, 1996, to the sounds of sirens and various other calm-breaking noises. As I looked out my bedroom window to see what all the commotion was about, I noticed a coloured streak darting across my driveway. Naturally, I shrugged this sight off, as would any other non-paranoid American. In any case, the commotion that awo
Current Residence: canadaland Favourite genre of music: metal/grunge Favourite photographer: floria sigismondi/lobsterclaws Operating System: windows xp MP3 player of choice: itunes Shell of choice: sea Wallpaper of choice: paisley Skin of choice: bear Favourite cartoon character: groundskeeper willie/stewie griffin Personal Quote: fuck what you heard, it's what you're hearing..
oooh, look at me... with a fancy subscription.. the timing couldn't be worse.. you know, because i don't come here anymore.. i could've allowed someone else to have it, but i'm a selfish motherfucker that lies, steals, and picks fights with homeless people.. but i was curious.. lick my nuts.
i don't enjoy this place as i once did. maybe it's just the fact that i haven't been contributing much, but it still just doesn't hit me like it once did. i've found other similar places that make me want to go there day after day as was once the case here, and maybe i'll get sick of that place, too. i've been working on other things to keep me busy, and DA just doesn't command attention.. it started right after DAv3, if that means anything. i only come here for lobserclaws, any ways :P (i don't even know how to make usernames into links anymore)
hearing: the juliana - do you believe me?